Relationship Violence – target group year 10
These notes have been developed by Cecilia Cappel.? They are intended as ideas and suggestions for ways in which assemblies for Year 10 young people could be undertaken to help them make the links between The White Ribbon Campaign and their personal experiences of unhealthy relationships.
The materials can either be used to launch The White Ribbon Campaign and work about violence against women, or at the end of a campaign to help consolidate ideas and bring themes together to help challenge young people’s views and expectations about personal relationships with adults and peers.
How the materials are used will in part depend on the amount of time allocated for assemblies and available resources. The materials have been developed for use during a ten to fifteen minute interactive presentation with young people.
Planning
It is important for teaching and support staff to be aware of the content of the assembly so that they can offer support to students for whom the assembly might have raised issues. Leaflets such as ‘Need To Talk’ by NSPCC or others with a help line number need to be ordered and made available to young people who might want to speak to someone they don’t know.
Equipment
CD player
CD of JoHaRi Mascara Mess (Challenging Violence, Changing Lives CD)
Voices and acting skills of two young people
White Ribbons (depending on if the assembly is being held at the beginning or the end of a campaign)
Download Mascara Mess >>
Order White Ribbons >>Setting the Scene
As young people enter the room a track by JoHaRi called Mascara Mess? will be playing (It does not have to be this track, an alternative can be selected as long as it deals with issues of domestic abuse or violence). Music provides a good way of engaging young people and getting them to think about the lyrics of what they are listening to. The same track can also be played as young people leave the assembly.
Once the young people are settled the teacher leading the assembly can make a short statement about the format and content of the assembly and expectations of those attending. Two young people will then act out the following scene. The young people enacting this scene would have been given the script in advance to work on the characterisation.
Please note that the lyrics from Mascara Mess form part of Lesson 1 ‘Challenging Our Communities: Acting For Change’. This lesson provides young people with an opportunity to give some detailed thought to the lyrics of the track.
?
Becs: Hi Chantelle you alright?
Chantelle: I’m okay. You?
Becs: Well, kinda ok.
Chantelle: Come on Becs what’s up? You know you want to tell me,? so, just spill.
Becs: Alright, I will, but don’t laugh.
Chantelle: Ok, I won’t laugh. Now just get on with it, the suspense? is killing me.
Becs: It’s just that we have been doing this stuff in PSHE? (which for a change is actually quite interesting) and it got me thinking. If I’m honest when Sir said we were doing this special project about the White Ribbon Campaign stuff and violence against women, I thought ‘boring’. They started talking about stuff that happens to women and girls in other countries and again I thought, what has all this stuff got to do with us? You know, female genital mutilation and murder and all that doesn’t really happen that much in Britain does it?
Chantelle: Well, not if you listen to my Mum who talks about rapists and murderers hanging out on every street corner and that all men are the same no matter where they come from!
Becs:? But, now we have started looking at stuff around our relationships you know, boyfriend girlfriend kinda stuff and healthy relationships and it’s really got me thinking. Today right, Sir read this poem called ‘I Know Tim’s Number By Heart’ and it really made me stop and think. I’ve got a copy of it do you what to hear it?
Chantelle: Do I have a choice?
Becs: No, just listen…
I know Tim’s number by heart
I always call when I get home.
Because I know that he’ll be waiting.
And he’ll ask me where I’ve been.
And he’ll ask me who I’ve seen.
I know Tim’s number by heart.
Sometimes I call too late.
And he screams at me through the phone.
And he wants to know where I’ve been.
And he’ll ask me who I’ve seen.
I know Tim’s number by heart.
But tonight I didn’t get to call.
And now I feel sick in my stomach
Because he’s wondering where I am.
And he’s imagining who I’ve seen.
And I’m afraid of what he’ll do.
I know Tim’s number by heart
Becs: What do you think?
Chantelle: No offence like Becs, because you are my mate but? when you read that poem I thought it was talking about you.
Becs: Me? I can’t believe you would say such a thing?
Chantelle: Look Becs, that’s just how you are with Jermaine.You’re? always stressing about having to call and tell him your every move.
Becs: That’s so not true.
Chantelle: So, are you saying that you don’t have to ring Jermaine to ask him if it is ok if you see me or anyone else for that matter? Ask any of your mates and they would say the same as me. It’s just that we didn’t want to say anything because we didn’t want to upset you.
Becs: I don’t call him all the time. Anyway at least it proves that he really cares about me!!
Chantelle: I’m not sure it does Becs. Listen right, my Mum has this friend who is a social worker and she’s always talking about violent men needing to be in control and them making girl friends ask for money or tell them exactly where they are going and how long they are going to be. It starts with small things with them asking where you are going all the time or always saying that they will come with you but, over time they just take total control of your life. If you love someone or they love you should you feel afraid of them? Should you be made to do things you don’t want to do?
Becs: Jermaine doesn’t make me do things I don’t want to do
Chantelle: He doesn’t eh? What about the time we were going to go to the cinema and you couldn’t come because he said you hadn’t given him enough notice and he wanted you to stay home with him?
Becs: That was different. He wasn’t feeling well.
Chantelle: That’s what I mean Becs; you always make excuses for him. And, it’s just not right.
Becs: Do you really think I am like that person in the poem?
Chantelle: You’re my mate Becs and you have become like that person in the poem. It didn’t start off that way but it is now.
Becs: I thought my mind was blown before but it definitely is now… how could I be like that person in the poem and not even realise it? I was telling you about this stuff because I felt really sorry for people having to live like that and now your telling me that, it’s happening to me.
Closing Remarks
A member of staff needs to pull session together perhaps by recognising the complex nature of the issues raised. However, it should be stated that it is a violation of an individual’s Human Rights to be living in fear of a partner or family member. Stress the point that people do not have to accept or live with domestic abuse; there are agencies that can help. Distribute lists of local resources and help lines.
Young people leave the assembly as the JoHari track plays.
Ideas for taking themes forward
- Use the Challenging Violence: Changing Lives Year 10 tools and materials
- Given young people are more likely to speak to their peers about problems they are experiencing it might be helpful to have some discussions about peer support.
- As a lead in young people could explore in small groups ways in which their behaviour towards one another might be seen as abusive or violent. From these discussions it might also be possible to frame thoughts about violence around consequences of action and the importance of taking responsibility for ones behaviour.
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