Keep On Runnin’
By Kate Radford
Our amazing marathon runner Kate Radford blogs on the difficulties of training and what inspires her to do it
So here it is, the blog post I’ve been trying to hold in until exactly the right time or try and word just in the right way HOW DIFFICULT THIS HAS BEEN!
In all honesty, over the last few months I can only describe myself as being in a somewhat out of body experience. I applied for the marathon during SAY YES week (see previous blogs for more details of that one!). Not because I didn’t want to, quite the opposite, I thought it would be a wonderful and humbling experience to try and contribute to what I think is an amazing charity. I just sort of forgot about the bit where I have to actually run the thing….
So to give y’all some context, as I’m aware there are people that aren’t my immediate friends and family that do in fact read the blog! I’m Kate. I’m 26. I’m cuddly. By that I mean I’m not super slight, I love wine. As in love it. I’m an actor, a musician, a writer, a creative and as most creative like to do we love to sit and discuss ideas in the pub not just drinking but smoking. That one I’m still working on, although I can proudly say I’m 2 weeks completely nicotine free.
What I’m trying to say is, I’m one of the last people you would think would turn around and say ‘hey guess what guys, I’m gonna just go run the London marathon….’ Seriously, ask my actual friends. It was a surprise to us all.
I found out in January. I did what most people would do which is vow to lose two stone, never drink and smoke again and be a total slave to the gym. Did I succeed in that, no. not even close. I slowed my drinking down, making myself really aware of how much I was having and more importantly I was dragging myself out for a run, if I felt bad or hungover, the run was ten times harder, believe me that’s enough to put you off. I was doing the classic ‘THIS weekend will be the last weekend I’ll drink… then I’ll really get on it’ but slowly but surely I have managed to stop going out for a time, totally able to now go out and not drink even if everyone else is, and just take myself home when it looks like everyone is having too much fun without me!
Now, we all know the following lines
‘you should be able to not drink and have fun!’
‘its bad for you anyway so what’s the point’
‘you might as well just save your money’
‘it doesn’t change who you are!’
These are all fine and fair points, but the bit I was missing out on was the bit of me that ENJOYED it. Yeah I know I’m not a totally different person, obviously, yes my friends still want to hang out with me, and yes I can still have fun and not drink, but the hard bit is admitting that that section of your social life has to be frankly eliminated for a time. It is not fine, when all you want to do is have a lovely glass of wine and not have to think or worry too much about anything, and you walk into a pub and everyone else there is there to do just that. And sweet lord I was jealous.
I’m still jealous, but I can feel a bit of a transformation happening, and now I feel a little bit stuck in the middle. Once you fall to the other side of the extreme (T:Total) it feels just as jarring. I think if anything I’m learning a lesson in balance and a huge huge lesson in what my body can endure, and what my body shouldn’t endure.
Two glasses of wine and running 10k the next day noticabley slows me down. Not being hydrated enough after eating a vanilla slice and running 15k, nausea. No matter how much I’ve tried, I can’t downplay how hard I have found this. I can’t downplay the marathon. Its simple, go out do what you want, drink all the wines, then don’t run, because you can’t, because you’ll hurt yourself, and because you’ll throw away the weeks of training before that.
So, what and how. To go from a non-runner, as somebody that doesn’t really enjoy running, and still doesn’t really enjoy running what on earth is going on. Well it’s simple really. I’m stubborn as a mule. It’s that simple. And that little urge in me that always tries to push me to my limits sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad, pushed me to this. And the main reason, the thing that really keeps me going, is that it isn’t about me at all. So no matter how alien, or useless, or tired I feel, I remember that actually that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I do it, and I raise as much money as physically possible for this charity that I feel so grateful to be chosen to run for.
I sat at the feminism in London conference in September, after somehow applying, and watched Abigail from Womankind speak at the conference. She spoke about the safety of women. How it was neglected. How it needs to change. She sat on a panel with other women talking about the suicide pacts of young girls in forced marriages who are raped and abused daily, women who are trafficked, women who are abused and afraid and have no where to go. Women who are mutilated and violently attacked or murdered, and this is accepted.
So yeah I do feel a bit silly, I feel a bit silly for even feeling silly. What I’m going through fair enough is a bit tough, but I chose it. What these women go through daily is against their will and out of their control.
I’m training to be able to run the marathon in 4:30. I’m aiming to raise £2,500. I’m trying to not to go insane. I’m asking for your help.
